Cat

I am Ibis, I am the cat that belongs to my wonderful daddy Fred (my favorite) and my mommy Laura (who is okay, but not my favorite).
I have a little bed near the window that is fluffy and soft. It is under a stool that holds some plants. I like to curl up there in a ball and sleep. It is comfortable. But my mommy likes to pull the bed out from under the stool and then scoop me up out of a deep sleep and carry me around the house upside down and give me kisses on my tummy and my head and I hate it. I have to clean all of those spots again and arrange all of my fur when she is done.
Other times she starts saying "hi kitty" and making the voice that means she is going to pick me up again, but I am awake and can run and hide under the bed or just roll over on the floor and bite her if she comes too close. I don't bite too hard, she usually doesn't bleed much. If my daddy notices that I am about to bite her he says "Ibis" loudly and sternly and I have to get up and go somewhere else until he isn't looking again, but she usually stops trying to pick me up as well.
Whenever the refrigerator opens, I think about the carton of milk in there and enticingly prance into the kitchen and give a hopeful "meow" to see if the person at the fridge will give me some of the milk in my bowl. I am a beautiful cat (the vet said) and usually get my way. I have large olive green eyes and big ears and I keep my fur as soft as a rabbit. (I'm not sure what a rabbit is, but my mommy said that is how soft it is.)
I also like to sit at the kitchen table when one or both of my parents is sitting there. If they are not paying attention I try to drink out of their glasses or pick some food off of their plates. But usually I just sit there and look out of the window, studiously ignoring them, yet at the same time, always knowing exactly what is going on.
When my parents are watching television, I like to sit on the lap of the person on the recliner chair. I like best when my daddy is sitting there because he doesn't bother me by petting me all of the time or trying to rest his hands on me. My mommy on the other hand will give me kisses and absently pet me as she is watching television and it bothers me to no end. I give her a warning look before coming in for a quick nip bite and sometimes she doesn't notice the look and continues to pet me anyways. She even will pick up my shoulders and look at me and say "I am your mommy and I bought you at the store and I feed you, so I can pet you and smush you all I want." which usually ticks me off more and as soon as she lets up on her hold I jump off of her lap and go back to my comfortable bed.
I like to eat early in the morning. So I try to wake up my mommy to feed me. I meow loudly and tickle her face with my whiskers, or rub my nose on her arm. She may wave her arm at me or try to grab me but I am faster and will run (stomping across her body) off of the bed until she is not moving and I can come meow at her face again. If she wakes up, she will need to use the bathroom and then she will usually come into the kitchen and feed me as well, so my ploy has been working wonderfully. To make sure that she has not forgotten me once she has used the bathroom, I will run to the kitchen and periodically turn my head to see that she is following and meow more and more loudly until I can see the decision has been made. Then I will roll over onto the kitchen floor and get petted for a while until the food comes. I am purring, but not because of the petting, but because of the impending food.
I like to look out of the windows, they are low enough to the floor that all I need to do is push through the blinds with my nose to see out. There are other cats in the world and one lives outside. It is grey and has a bell on its neck. (Strange.) It will come right up to my window and roll around in the dirt and make faces like it is free and so happy to be outside. I don't go outside, it is scary and big and full of strange things. Plus, I'm not allowed. But when I see that other cat, I wish I was outside. I tend to get angry and throw myself at the glass while the other cat is laughing at me.