Career/Business:
What worked: I am so proud of myself regarding my handling of last year's "situation" with not getting tenured. I reacted to the principal very graciously all year, at every unreasonable nitpicky observation meeting, every fear-filled dropping in my classroom with mean face and comments. But at the end of the year when the (unnecessary because of letting me go) time for her to evaluate me came, I asked to speak to the superintendent instead of accepting the evaluation. I was able to write out all of my experiences in a 5 page single spaced report and then read it to the HR superintendent as well as the union representative. It was freeing and gave me closure and helped me end out my two years teaching there on a note that I felt in control of.
Unfortunately the jobs I applied for did not give me the positions and I have spent the rest of the year unemployed. I miss the kids and the work.
I have been reevaluating though and might go back to get my masters in library science so that I have more options, like being a librarian in a school or a library.
What sucked: Being let go was so hard. I was watching the firing clips on the movie Up in the Air and sympathized with the employees. I had felt all of those emotions. How hard I worked, unrecognized, How I could have improved, unsaid, The feelings of my students and co-teachers, unacknowledged. I had to pray a lot and am still getting over the pain of the situation. It was hard looking for work and not even getting to the interview process for any of the positions.
What I learned: It is possible to have a principal who doesn't like me. (This was my first out of 6.) I need to watch my words and who I am speaking them in front of. This was my first year where politics was an issue and I learned everything the hardest way. I learned to stand up for myself when it is necessary and how to handle gracefully and prayerfully situations that are unfair. I learned how to fill my days when they seem empty.
What I want to change: I need to be a bit more proactive, figure out what I want to do and then start learning that thing. Try to keep time from passing me by and make more long term and short term goals so that I can be more productive.
Personal Growth and Development:
What Worked: I started a blog to begin writing and thinking through things. I've challenged myself a little with my entries and read a few books on writing. I've enjoyed singing in my chorus and have stretched myself a little to become more involved, and competed in the international contest for the first time. I fought with the decision to remove my breasts, but after research decided to keep them and work on baby making as previously planned. I am a good listener and friend. A lot of that is based on my research on how to care for kids as a teacher.
What sucked: I am having a problem with consistency, with the blog, with my daily schedule, with my state of mind. This may be normal for the unemployed, a new state for me. I didn't challenge myself enough to do more.
What I learned: To get anything done I need to set long term and short term goals. I love having them to accomplish, but I procrastinate in their creation.
What I want to change: I need to decide what I'd like to accomplish and set goals to get it done. Maybe a weekly time to assess and create. One thing from Stephen Covey that I remember is the example with the big rocks. If you take a big glass and fill it with small rocks or water it will be full and then nothing important can fit it. If you put in the big rocks first and then the small stones and sand and water last the big rocks fit in. I have to decide what I want to accomplish and do those things first, because without the thought, when you look back nothing happened and you wonder where the time went.
Fred and I started a "Learn Chinese in 30 days" book and CD last night. We did lesson one. He would love if I learned Chinese with him so our kids could learn a second language as well. Hmm.
No comments:
Post a Comment