Hmmm

Not so sure what to write about today. But here I am at the library and for some reason our internet access is not available at home, and I need to get out of here before 3:00 ish (ack I have 15 minutes!) because that is when my little middle schoolers get here.
A lot of my previous students come into the library after school and they tell me that they miss me and give me a hug and I ask them about math class and realize that I miss them too, middle schoolers in general, and then I feel sort of bad. Not really really bad, just sort of, because I think things worked out the way they did for a reason and I don't want to be teaching really.
There were so many things that frustrated me about teaching that would still be there if I were. And, I am enjoying my sleep in time, and seeing Fred in the mornings, and reading lots of books, and pursuing my interests, and thinking about writing, and trying to get pregnant. I am appreciating the whole lack of stress that is existing right now. But I do miss those kids, and being needed, and appreciated, and important.
I went into Peet's Coffee this morning to get a latte after dropping Fred off at work and before going to my Women's Bible Study. As I was in line, I saw a mother who is on the Mountain View Board of Education, who I had spoken to a few times in the past two years. She had told me how many positive things she had heard about me from other parents and teachers, always very nice. I waved to her and then noticed that she was sitting with the Superintendent. Akward! He waved with a hint of recognition as well. What do I say? I said nothing, and that was best, but what would have been the right thing to say? "Hi, obviously unemployed, thanks so much!" "Did you get a chance to read the really long letter I wrote to the district about my joyous year dealing with the principal you hired and chose to keep on?" I hope he did read it. It all makes me a little nervous feeling, heart beating faster, even though all of my ties to the district have been severed, I've been banned. What a hard year it was last year. I still am feeling mishandled, mistreated, misunderstood.