A Friend

So, what makes a good friend?
I was eating frozen yogurt with a friend today (gingerbread with tart plain at yummy yogurt). We were talking about how sometimes when you are depressed or worried about something, you choose isolation which many times makes you dwell on that situation instead of choosing to find a friend and talk things out or just be together.
She felt bad imposing her difficulties, or venting, feeling that she needs to be a strong contributing one, once she is with someone or out in the world.
I told her that I love to listen and feel that I am helping even just by doing that. And that helping feeling makes me feel good, needed. And that is what friends are for anyways. Sometimes I have my venting days, letting out all of my confusions and frustrations, hoping for a different perspective or just some time to let things out. And other times I am the listener.
I was thinking of different friends I have had over the past years.
Ones that I won't forget ever.
The thing I appreciate the most is a listening ear, absent of any judgment.
I want to feel that my problems are worth listening to. Not interrupting, not being reminded of when you had a similar thing happen to you and getting cut off while you go into your story. Not hearing what I should have done differently and how things are in some (or any!) way my own fault. Not seeing you look around and check your watch because I'm going on too long, or feeling you count the seconds until you can interject and tell me about your day.
I hate to be judged. Believe me, I have already thought about how this could be my fault and how I could have handled things better. Before I started talking, I have been thinking.
So, I try to listen. Not to interrupt.
I think about if there is advice I could give and then wait. I may pray a little before mentioning the advice, because even though it fits, it might not be the time for you to hear that particular experience. Mostly, I try to listen.
Believe me, it's not easy for me to just listen. I do all of the things I mentioned above, but I am trying to not do them, because I know how it feels to have them done to me.
I hope as I get older and wiser (maybe) that I can become all of the things I appreciate in others.
Oh yeah, it also helps if a friend laughs at my jokes!