Choices

When I was researching for my masters paper, which was on classroom management, I came across an author named William Glasser. It is true to say that he changed my life.
His work is based on what he calls Choice Theory. In a nutshell that means you always have a choice. Your situation or circumstances don't decide your behavior for you, you decide your behavior.
Obviously this relates to managing children, the more they are aware that they are in control of their behavior, that everything they do is the result of a decision they made to do that thing, they can make better decisions.
But, as I was studying it, I was practicing it.
An example Glasser used is our vocabulary. When something bad happens we can become "depressed", but he calls it "we are depressing" or choosing to depress about something. If we make a different choice, go hang out with positive friends for the evening or change our surroundings to make ourselves feel better, we are choosing not to dwell in that depression. We can control how we feel.
One example I experienced was when I was at the movie theater. People sitting close to me were being a little talkative and I was worried that when the movie started, they would continue to talk. As I was becoming annoyed, I stopped myself and reminded myself to analyze my choices. I could remain where I was sitting and therefore be choosing to remain near talkers. I could get up and move to a quieter area of the theater and risk being perceived as rude. I decided to stay where I was and risk that they would continue talking. They stopped when the movie started. But, my feeling changed immediately. I realized that staying there was my decision and I couldn't get annoyed about it because I had decided not to change it by moving.
So, here I am, whole days to fill. I can choose to sit at home the whole day and think about what there is not to do. I can count the hours until my husband gets home and then bug him to do things with me. I can watch television all day and feel like a slacker as my brain slowly deteriorates into pudding.
Or, I can make a schedule for myself, force myself to get outside, go for walks, go to the library, enrich myself with interesting readings, exercise to feel healthy, find classes to take and people to be with. Find some sort of book club, find mothers who are at home and try to be with them etc...
Apparently it is important for me to be with people and not alone. It is important for me to try to feel productive.
So, I must choose to meet those needs and avoid the feeling of having nothing to do.
It is empowering to realize that your emotions are in your control.