Emily Almost 4 months - SLEEP! or not.

Welp, Emily is getting much bigger. According to my unscientific measuring, with me the scale and then me with Emily and subtracting out my weight (which I hate to talk about), she is over 15 pounds! Huge really.
And still perfect and wonderful. But she doesn't like to sleep at all during the day. I have been vacillating between thinking, "well, everyone's baby is different and mine just seems to be cranky and not want to sleep during the day, lots of people ask Google why their newborn is not napping, so she's not the only one" and "oh my goodness baby must be on a schedule soon or her brain development is going to lag and it will be all my fault!". The product of too much reading perhaps.
Dr. Sears seems to think that short catnaps during the day are okay, but the Baby Whisperer and the author of Healthy sleep habits, Happy baby and the author of Superbaby all deem a schedule to be of utmost importance. But when should that schedule start!!??
So, at almost 4 months, they'd all agree that the schedule should already have started or be starting now.  So the plan is that once baby wakes up in the morning, she has only 2 or less hours of wakefulness at a time and then is put down for a nap.
Alas, how to put baby down for a nap??? We have been doing it all wrong. We bounce her in our arms on the yoga ball to get her to fall asleep. We had been so proud of our effective methods until I read the baby whisperer and then began to fault us for "not starting out as we wish to continue" and baby is getting darn heavy. My wrists and back begin to cram up when I bounce her too long. So I'm limiting my bouncing time to 5 minutes then 4 etc... to wean her off of it. And then into the bed for a nap. But alas again, she wakes up after 30 minutes of a nap and won't go back to sleep. So I have to bounce her again and put her on my lap in my arms and pat her butt and help her sleep the next hour. Or she sleeps in 30 minute bursts and is cranky for the entire day.
Other than thinking that we are messing up all over. Baby is lovely and I like her a lot.
I just also learned about the "dream feed", which means getting baby to the breast while she is sleeping so that she can sleep a big longer and feel full. It means that I can put her to bed around 9, then dream feed her at 11 and hope she sleeps until 5 or 6 (which she did last night), then I read that she should have already been weaned from the dream feed. Before I'd learned what it was. Argh.
She should have already been weaned from the swaddle too. Argh again. Swaddling her keeps her from smacking herself in the face with her hands and waking herself up. Still. So I can't stop that. But there is a little feeling of failure knowing that I should have stopped that months ago.
This failure feeling must follow you around throughout parenthood.