Whole30 - Day 2

Yesterday was my first day on the Whole30 diet. It was an eating out all day type of day, as Sunday's usually are for us.

At Chipotle I had: The Salad Bowl, with lettuce, chicken, steak, salsa, guacamole and fajita vegetables. Quite Tasty.

At the Mediterranian Grill: I had Chicken, tomato and cucumber salad, baba ganoush, and some pickles and radishes. Also yummy.

It was nice to know that in the evening I could have had a nice cup of tea, but I wasn't hungry for it, so skipped it.

I stayed full between meals for about 4-6 hours.

Today is Day 2.

Food:

I tried a recipe for bacon and strawberries http://www.tabatathis.com/?p=423 which was very tasty but felt like it had a lot of fat in it. I drained a bit but my stomach feels a little heavy.

For lunch I will make a simple chicken salad and put it in an avocado.

I figure for snacks I can have an apple or a banana with some almond butter on top.

For dinner we are going to have steak and a sweet potato salad from my Moosewood cooks at home Cookbook.

I had coffee with almond milk in it, which isn't too terrible. I do miss my little teaspoon of sugar.

Feel:

At the end of yesterday I felt good, the kind of full that is pleasant, leaves me not craving anything.

Whole30 - Intro

My last entry was about the weight watchers. Well, we've had a couple of trips since then, to New York, Home for the Holidays, and Hawaii! My weight crept back up a little bit and those last 5 pounds I've been trying to get rid of won't seem to go a way.

I exercise a lot and most everything seems to be trim-ish and not too bad looking. But it is so frustrating to feel like I am following the rules to Weight Watchers and am still staying exactly the same plus or minus one pound. Actually I've gained 2 pounds since the return from Hawaii.

So, I decided to try something else. I read the great book "Women, Food and God" TWICE it was so informative.

I got a lot from the guidelines at the end of the book and since reading it have stopped weight watchers counting and have been trying to just eat what my body wants when it wants it. And most importantly not to eat past being full. (Maybe not so surprisingly, I eat a very similar amount to when I was on Weight Watchers. It's just nice not to keep count of everything and to try to listen to my body.)A more mindful eating approach. I don't want to ruin it for you, I SO suggest reading the book. It made me think so much about how much I eat and why.

I thought that would help with the last 5 pounds, but nope. Here they still are, mocking me. I was finally to the point that I thought, "Well, I guess this is the weight I'm supposed to be, and I should learn to be happy with it."

Then I went to a Crossfit location in Palo Alto, as an introductory class, with a friend from my bible study. They mentioned nutrition as such an important base for good fitness and said they use the Whole9 eating program. I went to the website, curious, and found a pretty strict paleo diet suggestion for 30 days. They call it the Whole30. After reading the testimonials and giving it some thought, I decided to try it.

Let me say that I love LOVE dairy products and have tried a few times before to cut back on them and have not been successful.

This 30 day diet weans you from many food groups and you see how you feel afterwards and decide what you want to reintroduce based on the way your body feels after being free from that food group and the way it feels after reintroducing it.

It is nice that it is 30 days only and when I think about what I am missing, I know that I can have that item again real soon. I wonder, based on the testimonials though, if I will want the foods I am taking out when I'm done with the month.

The plan:

No sugar of any kind - real or fake

No alcohol

No grains - including corn and whole grains

No dairy - of any kind, including butter

No legumes - including peanuts

No white potatoes

No processed foods

It seems very similar to the Atkins diet, except without any fruit restrictions. Not that I've ever done the Atkins diet. So, of course I have all of the concerns I've heard related to that diet. What about the lack of carbs? Will I get headaches? Can my body still work well without grains? Aren't all three, Proteins, Fats, and Carbohydrates needed? Of course there are some carbs in nuts, and fruits, which I'll still eat.

I was thinking though, regarding grains, which is my only health issue with this. Of course lots of people all over the world live without dairy and they are fine. We all know sugar and alcohol aren't good. But what about grains? Most Americans eat white processed grains, white bread, white rice etc... Those have no nutrients at all. So, isn't not eating them about the same as eating them? And isn't not eating them making more room in my stomach for more vegetables, fruits and meat? Which do have nutrients.

I also read "Good Calories, Bad Calories" which had me fully convinced that the Atkins diet was based on great scientific research and is the best way to retain muscle while dieting and is also a great lifestyle way to eat.

So, I'm giving it a try.

Weight Watchers

So, I gained a little weight when I was pregnant for that little while and I didn't like it. Based on my personal history, I knew that the pounds weren't going to go away on their own so I had to do something about it. I've been on weight watchers for 11 weeks and have lost 13.4 pounds! Which today puts me at the just barely top of the weight range for my height.

It has been a little hard, but not too bad. Some things have saved me along the way.

1. Dark Chocolate Covered Raisins from Trader Joe's are 1 point for 10 raisins. That is my evening sweet snack.

2. Greek Yogurt with no fat is so creamy and delicious and can replace mayonaise or sour cream in lots of recipes.

3. I really already love vegetables and fruits and these are minimal calories.

4. There is this great program on my android phone called WWDiary that helps me track my points and activities. I've used it since day one.

5. Fred and I already love to split entrees when we go to restaurants, which makes eating out not too tricky.

6. CalorieCount website makes it easy to find out nutrition information on most foods.

I've also had a couple of epiphanies.

1. I can't compare myself to others. Yes, it is painfully true that there are lots of very thin people who seem to eat whatever without any thought. But that is not my body. I need to watch and count calories and exercise daily. It has to be okay that this is true so I don't become bitter and give up. I'm learning to be okay with that.

2. It is really nice to be thinner. It is nice to see the accomplishment (and to wear shorts that don't come all of the way down to my knees because I'm self conscious.)

I've entered the Maintenance Phase of the program to try to keep the weight off and learn how much I can eat to make that possible. But, not really, because I'm actually trying to keep losing until I get pregnant. The less I weight when I get pregnant, the easier it will be to come back to "normal" when the baby comes. But the way weight watchers works is that if you get to your "goal weight" which must be within the range for your height, and you can maintain for 6 weeks, you can become a "lifetime member" which means that there are no longer any fees to attend meetings and the weekly weigh in if you maintain that goal weight within 2 pounds. So, I chose the top of the range, which gives me a little leeway, but want to keep losing.

Anthony, Good teaching

Yup, Anthony was his real name. Since this won't be published, I guess it's okay to say his name.

I had a student named Anthony and I'm not sure if I've written about him before, I find myself too lazy to go back through all of my entries, with their illusive titles and labels and see if I've written this before or not. I suppose if I have and if anyone is diligent enough to have read my entries and notices, please let me know and I'll delete either this or that entry. I just feel it is something that should be written, as one of my proudest moments as a teacher.

Anthony was one of my fourth graders. Almost infamous for how many times he'd gotten in trouble and one of the two least favorite of the third grade teacher who was handing him over to me (along with the rest of the students that year fondly called "the class from hell" by the elective teachers). He got into a lot of fights with other kids, if something bothered him, he would become very angry and fist his hands at his sides and make an angry face and chase the offender and proceed to pound him. This led to obvious problems at recess. A basketball argument would lead to a kid being chased around the small playground by an upset Anthony, and if there was no teacher intervention, a fight ensued. By about 4/5 of the way through the school year, I was at my wits end. I told Anthony that I had talked to the assistant principal and that he would need to sit in the office from now on through the daily 20 minute recess if a big change wasn't made. He obviously didn't want that. I didn't either, knowing that it was the only time he had to get out and run around and get all of the natural energy out of his little 9 year old body.

I had thought long and hard about giving my students recess. Something that was not provided at my school, had to be provided by the teacher, and was thought to be optional for fourth graders. After a long talk with my kindergarten assistant over a visit to Columbus, she had very soundly convinced me that recess is vitally important and should be provided. After many talks with my rowdy students and problem solving sessions, recess became one of the best parts of our day; time I could sit and talk with various students at the picnic table or walk among them as they played or just observe their behavior, as kids are so very interesting.

I had recently read "Teaching with Love and Logic" and wanted to try out a method given in the book. I so did not want to deprive Anthony from recess, but there seemed to be no other option. We talked about it and as I was offering him a solution he jumped at the chance to save himself from a very boring daily office sit. I told him that he had to come up with something to do once he began to get angry that would help him stop before chasing around a culprit and beating him up. He gave it a little thought and I offered him a suggestion (almost verbatim from the book I'd been reading). He wrote on an index card that when he became angry he would sit down on the bench and count to 100 to calm himself down. He signed it and I signed it too and put it on my desk. I convinced him that this was his idea and if it didn't work we would come up with something else but I hoped it would work because I knew how much he wanted to play with the other kids at recess. It worked. When he began to display the fists and the mad face I intercepted him and yelled, "Anthony, the bench" and he would immediately come over to the bench and count to 100. I saw him visibly calm down and his breath return to normal. When he got up, he would calmly walk over to do a different activity with different kids, knowing that if he went back to the group he was with before he might be provoked again. Sometimes, the students missing the expected fight, would try to provoke him to anger again, but he would calmly ignore them and walk around them to another activity. I'd say that this happened about 15 times throughout the rest of the school year. Sometimes I would need to remind him by helping him to the bench and other times just make eye contact and verbally remind him. There were times it became comical and times I thought his reaction deemed him to take a sitting break when he didn't feel it was necessary. Once he asked if he could count by 10's and I realized I had been mistaken to intervene and he had just been having fun. We laughed and I consented. He never missed another recess!

I was so happy to see his intervention technique become applicable to him in other situations. One policy of the school was that for every three conduct forms a student would have to serve an afterschool detention. I kept track of the conduct forms on a folder of mine but it was common for a student to lose track of how many conduct forms there had been. Anthony was not new to serving detentions, he had probably served at least 5 that year, but when I mentioned this one to him, you could tell it had taken him unawares and that he did not want to tell his mother who was not going to be happy about having to rearrange transportation for yet another infraction of his. He yelled "What, I haven't had three conduct forms yet" and shoved his folder off of his desk and kicked at it. Then, realizing his reaction, his demeanor changed and he asked if he could be excused to the hallway. I said sure. He stood outside of the door and began counting to calm himself down. One of the office assistants who was walking through the school noticed him out there and asked if he was in trouble again. He told her what he was doing. She told him she was proud of him and you could see the pride on his face as he realized he was proud of himself too. He came back in and calmly asked me to remind him of the dates of the three conduct forms and I told him. He then said thank you and picked up his folder and sat back down.

I think that this is the place where a teacher can change a child's life. Good explanations are nice as are fun activities and well laid out plans, but when a teacher can help a child learn how to control his own behavior and be in charge of his own reactions, that becomes a life long lesson. I hope wherever Anthony is, that he remembers to take time out and count to 100 before letting his anger take over. I am still proud of him.

5 months

So, it's been about 5 months since I've written in my dear old blog.

What is my purpose in the blog? What does it accomplish? Who is out there reading it?

So, if the purpose is to write because I like to write about stuff and then like to look back later to see how I eloquently and artistically put my thoughts and frustrations, can't that be enough. Sometimes you don't know what you think until you write it. Kind of a log of sorts detailing a period of time. Certainly more convenient than a journal that you have to physically write in. That takes forever and gives me finger cramps and my thoughts are so much faster than my ability to handwrite. I always feel like I am missing lots of things while I wait for my hands to finish up my last sentence. Then I worry about the handwriting and how it started out neat at the beginning of the new journal and now looks like chicken scratches and how will I be able to read it anyways in a year or two, provided that I keep the journal and don't get rid of it as clutter.

So, over the last 5 months what has happened:

I got pregnant. April 29 was the first day of my last period. I was hoping as you know and working on the get pregnant thing for about 7 months and was waiting for that period to start at the end of May. And then it didn't. I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. A few days later I took it again and there was a faint second pink line. I called my mom immediately (after waking up Fred to tell him) and then a week or so later I told my father in law, while he was in the car with his parents and my mother in law. He was so excited. Grandma kept asking if I was sure. I think back a few decades ago no one was really sure until the 3rd month. hmmmmm.

I bought every book. The baby book, the illustrated day by day guide to pregnancy, the month by month guide and the week by week guide. I kept up with all of them. People would say, don't read everything, you might get overloaded with information, just use them as references. Crazy, I thought. Read them all cover to cover but not too far ahead so that I don't expect things that aren't happening yet. I adjusted my exercise a little but was still faithfully doing aerobic activities and QiGong and long walks. The baby was going to be here February 3ish. I was telling people the beginning of February so that when things didn't happen on the date I wouldn't get tons of phone calls asking if it'd happened yet.

I had scheduled a doctor's appointment for Thursday, after Fred and I took an anniversary trip to Carmel. Lots of dreams and thoughts and baby lookings around. Rescheduling our holiday not to visit home because I'd be 8 months pregnant in December and couldn't travel.

At the doct0r's appointment, I told them I was 9 weeks pregnant and they looked at their little chart and verified that it was true. (I did learn something from all of those books.) When the doctor put the wand inside to get an ultrasound picture, there was a little grey blobby thing, sort of a fuzzy version of what an earlier week should look like. The doctor started saying, "oh friend" in a sad way and I asked, "did I have a missed miscarriage?" (I had read the books.) and he said yes. The blobby thing had stopped developing at week 5 and nothing was happening. No fluttery heartbeat, no little movements. It was dead.

He had the other doctor come in and look and they both agreed. Then he gave us some suggestions. I could take a pill and then another one and it would cause the body to push out the baby (we called it the little blueberry, before Thursday) within the next 24-48 hours, or I could take one of the pills and come back a little later in the day and he could do a D&C, which means scrape/suck out the baby. It would be better because I wouldn't have to deal with the bloody gushing on my own over the toilet (I read the books.) and then it would be over and they could test the baby for chromosomal stuff. Basically if there was something wrong with the baby that would be good, it is common that when a fetus has a big problem that the body rejects it. If there was nothing wrong then maybe it was my body's fault. But of course if it was my body's fault I expect that it will happen over and over and over again. As it has to a few of my friends.

So, no baby anymore, and lots of changed plans and differing plans and adjusted dreams. I hate when the plans all change. Now what?

So, I'm looking for a teaching job again. I do miss kids so much and miss their effect on me, and my effect on them. They make me happy and I make them happy. That has to be good right? Even if I got pregnant again really soon the baby wouldn't be due until after the end of the school year so why not?

I've applied to one job that I have high hopes for, in a k-8 school about 9 miles from me. I'm praying about it. When I emailed the contact person today she said that the principal is paper sorting through the applicants and that the position hasn't been fulfilled yet. I'll know it all in the next week or so as school starts for teachers the following week. I look really good on paper and I also interview well, so my hopes are up, but no call yet.

I missed writing. My fingertips are getting numb and my fingernails are clacking on the keys and I guess this is enough for now.

New Year 6

Ahhh, what I have been procrastinating for so long has finally come down to its time.

My new year's resolutions for this year are:

To learn chinese, by spending some time 5 days out of the week on learning activities.

To make at least one new recipe a week, to become a better cook.

To write in my blog at least twice a week. It can be about what I've cooked that week or small activities from "how to write" books, or journalish entries.

To maintain my exercise routines. It has turned into walking for an hour as many days of the week as I can, between 3 and 5. Riding my stationary bicycle at least 3 times a week and using free weights for upper body exercise at least 2 times a week, and doing my QiGong DVD also at least 2 times a week. It all seems manageable.

New Year 5

Back at the library!! I am so resistant to creating goals. I just don't want to do it. I guess that if I don't do it, I won't feel bad when I don't achieve them, but of course that keeps me from achieving anything. A vicious circle of medeocrity.

Here I am at step 2 of my 3 step process to creating goals for next year:

2/ CREATE
This is the fun part. This is where you get to dream about your possibilities, your dreams. Don't get caught up in the "HOW" in this step, just keep dreaming. Use the same 8 areas of your life and think; What do I want in 2010? What do I want to build on? In what areas do I want to grow? Learn? Contribute?

Relationships: More relationships with more poeple.

Recreation: More outdoor activities. Goals about reading classic books and books about writing. Goals in my writing, maybe to write a book, or short stories. (I feel a moment of panic when I say this, because there are absolutely no ideas inside of me to write a book about.)

Career: Prepare to be a librarian. Keep my mind open to other possibilities careerwise.

Personal Growth and Development: Learn Chinese. Have a weekly goal setting time to reevaluate how I'm doing and to set the big rocks into my life before all of the other stuff.

Health and Fitness: Keep exercising with walking and stationary bicycle for cardio and weights for resistance. Learn a new recipe every week to increase my healthy repertoire of food ideas. (Buy Ellie Krieger cookbook.)

Financial: No changes necessary.

Home: Nothing until baby comes and decisions have to be made.

World Contribution: Volunteering. That's about it.

That didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would. Hmmmmm. Maybe I don't have that many goals to make after all.

I had an interesting thought last night. I was reading "The Elegance of the Hedgehog" which is an amazingly well written book. I've enjoyed it like morsels of chocolaty cheesecake melting on my tongue. Something has been stopping me from writing, this thought that it must all come out great or it is not worthwhile doing at all. What if I write and most of it is crappy and there is only one or two salvageable sentences or paragraphs in lots and lots of writing. And then I take those good parts and create something out of them and do lots and lots of editing and fixing and then after all of that, something well written and tasty comes out of it. That is worthwhile. Am I lazy? Hmmmm, something to think about. Not whether or not I am lazy but whether or not I can write well and want to put the lots and lots of effort into it that is probably necessary to come up with something that will be melty on the tongues of others.