a writer when i grow up

I would like to be a writer when I grow up. I don't know when that will be. Maybe soon. I have always thought that it would be when I was home with my little kids and had nothing to do. What a perfect time to write. Easy to be interrupted, but small spaces of time inviting you to continue where you'd left off.
I have no kids yet, and therefore have not started writing yet. But am getting on in age. I am 34. A breast cancer survivor for almost the critical 5 years now. Just completed the regimen of Tamoxifen and all ready to make a baby, and then another one quickly. We can get started in October.
I s'pose I can start writing now though, as I have nothing to do.
No longer teaching. Anticipating potentially a challenging pregnancy. My mother had very difficult pregnancies, unable to keep any food down and practically bedridden. I was nervous to commit to a teaching job with that possibility.
What a challenge to go from working full time, being needed every day, kids noticing my new nail polish, lesson planning, saying "how can I be most productive in this 17 minutes remaining of my prep period?", rushing to get a few more copies made, laughing at kids jokes, giving lots of hugs in the hall, proclaiming that "yes you are definitely my favorite student" whenever asked, trying to do the best job and not burn out at the same time, to not working.
To being scared that it might take more than a month or two to get pregnant, what on earth will I do if it takes more than 6 months or a year or more? To trying to fill up my time, make a cleaning of the one bedroom apartment schedule, try not to watch too much television, become healthier, lose a little weight, not feel guilty when I can't think of something to do and am left taking an unproductive nap. Become productive, continue to make a little money, make some fliers to become a tutor in the neighborhood. Sigh.
Yet, shouldn't this be so enjoyable? No frustrating kid behavior to deal with, no guilt that whatever I am doing is not enough to help my kids really learn math well, no trying to no avail to please a principal who will not be pleased, no parents asking why this grade on this quiz, why not this or that, no requirement to make doctor appointments after 3:30, no guilt when leaving from school early because I am not doing as much as society dictates teachers should be doing, and especially no pit of my stomach feelings on Sunday night that the only thing to anticipate is potential frustration the next day.
I did like that restful feeling last night that there would be no school the next day.
It is not that enjoyable though, not working.
It should be.
Hence the blog. It is something to do. It responds to the advice I've read that if you want to be a writer you should write every day.
One of my middle school students was reading The Clique series. I read the first 8 books and at the end of one there was advice from the author. She said, you should write every day.
So, I went back to a journal that I hadn't written in for the last 10 years or so, why buy a new one when pages were still blank in that one, and began to make myself write every day. A typical entry consists of "A great day, went out to see an old movie at the Stanford Theater, went out for Fraiche Yogurt afterwards. I love Fred. He is the best husband ever."
Will entries that short turn me into a great writer?
I was reading Outliers by Gladwell. Apparently to become really good at something, nobel prize winning good, concert pianist good, you need to work at it for 10,000 hours. A little scary to me. The only things I have done for 10,000 hours are watch television and read books. I always hated writing when I was in school because it took thinking. I wanted everything to come out perfect and if it didn't I had no patience with it.
I was reading Bone Black by Bell Hooks, and it was a short book, so beautifully written. I've never read much poetry but each line in her text was poetic. There was so much meaning in so small a space. How can one line of text, so short, move you that much? Did she do that quickly? Did it flow out of her, or did it take tons of rewriting and editing? Years and years for one book? But even if it did, isn't it worth it. The books that have affected me, made me who I am, maybe took the authors a lifetime to write, but they will also stay with me for a lifetime. Can't I commit a lifetime to affecting others for a lifetime? I would like to.
Hence, a writer when I grow up.